Marriage Gem (2)


Until our present day generation understand that common sense is what one needs to make a relationship or marriage work the problems we are seeing in various relationships and marriages will continue. Dating or marrying someone with degrees or PhD will not guarantee you a successful happy relationship. 

God didn’t design marriage that way. He made marriage in such a way that irrespective of where you are coming from; whether educated or non educated you can still enjoy a lasting happy marriage if you only have common sense and marry someone who also have common sense.

Sorry to say; we have a lot of degree holders causing chaos in relationships and marriages with few common sense holders. The number of common sense holders in relationships and marriages are just a few and that is the main reason we see only a few couples enjoying their relationships and marriages.

 Therefore, if you are struggling in your relationship or marriage then it’s possible that either you or your partner  or both lack common sense. In a relationship where one partner lacks common sense, you will see that the relationship is not balanced. The one without common sense will be causing more troubles and conflicts in the relationship or marriage and will still feel good about it.
The problem with people who lack common sense for relationship building is that, they don’t see how their actions, attitude, character and words are killing their relationships. 

They see their actions to be normal and wouldn’t mind to improve, change or adjust. In fact, dating or marrying someone who has degrees but lacks common sense will bring you more headache than your head can bear. There are some people who are always crying in their relationships or marriages because of their partners. If you are in such situation, know that your partner lacks common sense for relationship building.

Someone will ask; what is common sense for relationship building? Common sense for relationship building is knowing what is right and doing it and knowing what is wrong and refusing to do it, simple. 

This knowledge comes by learning from mistakes; your own mistakes and those of other people. And the second way of getting this knowledge is by reading. Let me start from mistakes. Everybody makes mistakes, even the best marriage experts do make mistakes, but your ability to learn lessons from those mistakes shows whether you have common sense or not. If in your previous relationship you cheated and that caused the ruin of your relationship,  common sense will tell you not to cheat again in your future relationship. That is; whatever actions you took that destroyed your previous relationship shouldn’t be repeated. Learn from it and use it.

Learning from other people mistakes is seeing all the bad decisions some couples have taken and ruined their relationships and marriages and decide not to make similar mistakes. Someone with common sense sees that the people ahead of him are driving into a pit and will therefore advice himself to turn back and not follow them. You don’t need to go to school to have this common sense, it’s right with you.

As a young lady, you see other ladies are sleeping around and aborting pregnancies for their boyfriends only to be used and dumped. Common sense will tell you not to follow them but rather practice no marriage no sex.
Lastly, you learn by reading quality materials on relationships and marriages. You see a young lady at the age of 27 but has already been in seven different relationships and still haven’t read anything on relationship. She keeps repeating similar mistakes by doing the things she used to do and dating the kind of guys she used to date. 

Because she doesn’t have common sense, you will see her donating free sex to all the guys she dates just to prove her love for them, then after they have used her they then dump her. Because she doesn’t apply common sense, she will think relationship is all about sex and without sex the relationship is boring.
Reading good books on relationships and marriages will help put a lot of common sense into your head for you to know the things that make relationships work and those that don’t.

These materials will open your eyes to see the things that kill relationships and the things that build relationships. Whilst lack of this knowledge will cause you to abuse your relationship and partner. Some people don’t know how to handle their partners all because their heads are empty. 

The only thing they know is to have sex with their partners and apart from that nothing helpful to build any meaningful relationship.
Friend, common sense will tell you don’t entertain another opposite sex beside your partner, don’t cheat, don’t keep secrets, don’t entertain negative habits, don’t entertain bad friends and company, don’t be speaking with another opposite sex deep into the night, don’t engage in premarital sex, don’t engage in extramarital affairs, don’t abuse or beat your partner and many other relevant things. 

Whilst common sense will tell you not to do certain things it will also be encouraging you to do other positive things to enhance your relationship or marriage. Therefore, if you are in a relationship, before you take any decision or a step ask yourself whether it’s common sense. If it has nothing to do with common sense please ignore it. 


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